Hoidy!
Hey there Blogophiliacs,
Yesterday I sent off an application for a job that I saw in the window of the Folyes in Charing Cross.
Then I took the tube to Leicester Square to go see Underworld Evolution.
While I was waiting in the line a tall, hairy, dirty bloke with a backpack was in front of me, slightly slurring his words, and when he got to the front and asked for a ticket to see Underworld, the cashier knocked him back on the grounds that he was drunk.
He denied that he was drunk but became so agitated that he headbutted the glass partition and threatened all of the staff, demanding that they come out of the box office to settle the matter. This went on for at least ten minutes, during which time he headbutted the glass again, and eventually a bouncer from a nearby club led him away, where he continued to rage.
I don't think he was drunk, but I'd say he was under the influence of something and he was definitely not the kind of bloke I'd like to be in a theatre with.
Bizarre.
Naturally the police turned up, in numbers with an armoured car, once everything was over. Nice one, Mr Plod. Keep up the good work.
On Underworld Evolution itself: boring, ponderous, irritating with occaisionally good set design.
Once again Kate Beckinsale was unconvincing as a Vampire, the other Vampires and Werewolves bordered on the ridiculous, and various Vampire Movie cliches were shovelled in for no terribly good reason.
I have a theory that no good vampire movies have been made since The Lost Boys (with the possible exception of the first Buffy movie, but that was a Parody more than anything else), and neither of the Underworld films have done much to prove me wrong.
Besides which, there just weren't enough gratuitous butt-shots of Kate Beckinsale in her shiny outfit. This isn't the kind of thing that I usually complain about...
Random Friend: What did you think of The Shawshank Redemption?
Me: It's rubbish! Not enough gratuitous PVC arse shots!
... Nope, not at all. But when a movie that clearly offers so little else, and is marketed heavily on the fetishistic nature of the material, suffers from a dearth of low-angle cinematography it almost constitutes false advertising.
Geez. Where's Carrie-Ann Moss when you need her?
In any case, it seems that critics around the world (or at least around America) agree with me:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/underworld_evolution/
Other bitches and gripes about the movie:
Vampires are nocturnal, and according to most traditions they can see in the dark pretty damn well: WHY DO THEY NEED TORCHES?
Why were there some secondary characters (eg the highway patrol officers) speaking Czech and others (the security guars at the wharf) speaking French? Especially when all the principle characters were always speaking English?
If Derek Jacobi's character was the original immortal, why did he look so sodding old?
I know that seeing a Vampire movie and complaining that it sucked is like buying a pie at the cricket and complaining that it's, but fuck me, it was awful.
So, feeling a weird mixture of underwhelmed and violated, I took the tube home and read more of The Assassin's Apprentice by Robin Hobb. Which at least runs the risk of having a decent story.
Today was laundry, food, buying magazines and checking e-mail.
I also received the letter from BT confirming that the details for my phone installation. Two weeks from now and it will be done. Neato.
Tomorrow night I see Children of Bodom.
Saturday Night I see Paradise Lost and the go to Strength Through Joy. Mental note: send Email to Chris reminding him I'm on the guest list.
Other News: in the SFX magazine I bought there is a nice big article of tips for aspiring writers, plus a short story comp running.
Cool, I'll be in that.
Over and out.
J
Yesterday I sent off an application for a job that I saw in the window of the Folyes in Charing Cross.
Then I took the tube to Leicester Square to go see Underworld Evolution.
While I was waiting in the line a tall, hairy, dirty bloke with a backpack was in front of me, slightly slurring his words, and when he got to the front and asked for a ticket to see Underworld, the cashier knocked him back on the grounds that he was drunk.
He denied that he was drunk but became so agitated that he headbutted the glass partition and threatened all of the staff, demanding that they come out of the box office to settle the matter. This went on for at least ten minutes, during which time he headbutted the glass again, and eventually a bouncer from a nearby club led him away, where he continued to rage.
I don't think he was drunk, but I'd say he was under the influence of something and he was definitely not the kind of bloke I'd like to be in a theatre with.
Bizarre.
Naturally the police turned up, in numbers with an armoured car, once everything was over. Nice one, Mr Plod. Keep up the good work.
On Underworld Evolution itself: boring, ponderous, irritating with occaisionally good set design.
Once again Kate Beckinsale was unconvincing as a Vampire, the other Vampires and Werewolves bordered on the ridiculous, and various Vampire Movie cliches were shovelled in for no terribly good reason.
I have a theory that no good vampire movies have been made since The Lost Boys (with the possible exception of the first Buffy movie, but that was a Parody more than anything else), and neither of the Underworld films have done much to prove me wrong.
Besides which, there just weren't enough gratuitous butt-shots of Kate Beckinsale in her shiny outfit. This isn't the kind of thing that I usually complain about...
Random Friend: What did you think of The Shawshank Redemption?
Me: It's rubbish! Not enough gratuitous PVC arse shots!
... Nope, not at all. But when a movie that clearly offers so little else, and is marketed heavily on the fetishistic nature of the material, suffers from a dearth of low-angle cinematography it almost constitutes false advertising.
Geez. Where's Carrie-Ann Moss when you need her?
In any case, it seems that critics around the world (or at least around America) agree with me:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/underworld_evolution/
Other bitches and gripes about the movie:
Vampires are nocturnal, and according to most traditions they can see in the dark pretty damn well: WHY DO THEY NEED TORCHES?
Why were there some secondary characters (eg the highway patrol officers) speaking Czech and others (the security guars at the wharf) speaking French? Especially when all the principle characters were always speaking English?
If Derek Jacobi's character was the original immortal, why did he look so sodding old?
I know that seeing a Vampire movie and complaining that it sucked is like buying a pie at the cricket and complaining that it's, but fuck me, it was awful.
So, feeling a weird mixture of underwhelmed and violated, I took the tube home and read more of The Assassin's Apprentice by Robin Hobb. Which at least runs the risk of having a decent story.
Today was laundry, food, buying magazines and checking e-mail.
I also received the letter from BT confirming that the details for my phone installation. Two weeks from now and it will be done. Neato.
Tomorrow night I see Children of Bodom.
Saturday Night I see Paradise Lost and the go to Strength Through Joy. Mental note: send Email to Chris reminding him I'm on the guest list.
Other News: in the SFX magazine I bought there is a nice big article of tips for aspiring writers, plus a short story comp running.
Cool, I'll be in that.
Over and out.
J
posted by the.exile at 7:23 pm
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