Health wise: Getting better
Otherwise, same as always.
Yesterday I could feel my head exploding with every step, with every change in light etc.
Today I woke up still feeling like crap but well enough to throw some clothes in the wash and jump on a Bus to Stratford to pay my rent (which reminds me, I had better pull those clothes out and hang them up).
My bones still hurt.
My head still hurts.
I can breathe through my nose, which is an improvement. Last night I actually had to make sure I had my mouth open when I fell asleep.
For reasons unknown I am insanely hungry all the time. I just want to eat and eat and eat.
After paying my rent I went to Stratford Library and borrowed a book on Taoism and The Naked Lunch by William Burroughs. I also picked up a notice that the Library was looking for staff. Hmm. I might apply. Could be worse.
Working in a Library could be boring, I guess. I used to argue that I wanted a boring job because my personal life was crazy enough.
Now I don't seem to have a personal life, crazy or otherwise. It is not the not having that comes from no room for a personal life, it is the not having akin to trying to light a fire using a broken Bic lighter and wet newspaper.
Whinge!
Okay, enough of that.
Masao moves out tomorrow. I reckon I'm going to miss the crazy little japanese dude. Though I will say that conversation wasn't his strong suit.
I started reading The Naked Lunch on the bus back to Leytonstone.
I'd already read half of the introduction on a previous occaision, so I started reading where I left off.
And where I left off it started getting very strange. Weird turns of phrase, crypto-conversational ramblings and the like. I wondered whether this was some of William Burroughs' famous cut-up style at work, and I imagined that I could see the seams where he had sellotaped sentences together.
Weird.
I think it is going to be one of those books that will be able to make me feel sick. Not by being nauseatingly graphic and disgusting, but just by the disorientating nature of the writing.
I'm going to keep at it.
Over and out.
J
Yesterday I could feel my head exploding with every step, with every change in light etc.
Today I woke up still feeling like crap but well enough to throw some clothes in the wash and jump on a Bus to Stratford to pay my rent (which reminds me, I had better pull those clothes out and hang them up).
My bones still hurt.
My head still hurts.
I can breathe through my nose, which is an improvement. Last night I actually had to make sure I had my mouth open when I fell asleep.
For reasons unknown I am insanely hungry all the time. I just want to eat and eat and eat.
After paying my rent I went to Stratford Library and borrowed a book on Taoism and The Naked Lunch by William Burroughs. I also picked up a notice that the Library was looking for staff. Hmm. I might apply. Could be worse.
Working in a Library could be boring, I guess. I used to argue that I wanted a boring job because my personal life was crazy enough.
Now I don't seem to have a personal life, crazy or otherwise. It is not the not having that comes from no room for a personal life, it is the not having akin to trying to light a fire using a broken Bic lighter and wet newspaper.
Whinge!
Okay, enough of that.
Masao moves out tomorrow. I reckon I'm going to miss the crazy little japanese dude. Though I will say that conversation wasn't his strong suit.
I started reading The Naked Lunch on the bus back to Leytonstone.
I'd already read half of the introduction on a previous occaision, so I started reading where I left off.
And where I left off it started getting very strange. Weird turns of phrase, crypto-conversational ramblings and the like. I wondered whether this was some of William Burroughs' famous cut-up style at work, and I imagined that I could see the seams where he had sellotaped sentences together.
Weird.
I think it is going to be one of those books that will be able to make me feel sick. Not by being nauseatingly graphic and disgusting, but just by the disorientating nature of the writing.
I'm going to keep at it.
Over and out.
J
posted by the.exile at 5:19 pm
2 Comments:
Hi Jason,
Okay, here's some cheerful stuff, perhaps just to tick you off.
You know how sometimes you just want to feel like crap and not have anyone trying to cheer you up?
But - the fact you want to eat?
Not a problem.
Old adage: feed a cold, starve a fever.
You have a doozy of a cold, so eat, eat, eat.
Want a metaphysical explanation for the cold?
You're changing and letting go of a bunch of beliefs that had become built into your body, organically.
When you get over this, you'll feel much lighter, much better and be better able to go forward and get a job you like, even if it is just a stepping-stone on the career path.
But since you are actually breaking down tissues/ compounds in your body that you no longer need (that hold beliefs such as you have to make yourself work at that dreadful place) you need food to rebuild.
So the fact you feel really bad is a symptom of how much you are letting go.
If you don't believe it, you're in good company. Many don't. It doesn't matter. You'll be better off when you get through it.
Those horrible headaches that feel like your head is going to explode?
Sounds like that's where a lot of those beliefs were housed.
Now, there's a surprise, isn't it?
That beliefs would be stored in the tissues of the brain?
Perhaps I should issue an international press release on that one.
However, do not discount another reason, either.
When you are well and you can find time, look up the slender volume Heal Your Body by Louise Hay. She gives her reason. Look under "headache."
My husband and I joke about it anytime either one of us gets a headache, which is infrequent.
I have lived by this book for over twenty years and healed/mitigated many things over the years using it.
This may convince you I am a true nutter, but what the heck. I can't be any worse than... than...
Hmmm. Excuse me a moment, there seems to be a man with a white coat at the door...
My kitten is sick, too, and it looks like it will be the vet for him tomorrow. A continuing story - I found him when he was only 3 1/2 weeks old and nursing him is my sideline occupation.
Gee - I wonder what he's giving up?
:>)
Well, it is a theory for humans...
Clyo
P.S. Maybe you just worked at Highbury so you would have material for great stories. You know the ins and outs and surely you can write a better - and funnier - story than Mr. Burroughs.
Thanks Clyo.
Your theory does resonate a little with me, since I do firmly believe that the more stressed you are the more likely you are to get sick.
The strange thing being that I was sick nearly all the time back in Australia, while here in London I'm usually healthy as a horse.
Except for now (and about eight months ago) when I'm not.
I do try to listen to what my body tells me.
The problem is that most of the time my body tells me things like: 'I'd really like to sleep', 'I'm really hungry for something greasy', 'I want to eat something, the more carbs the better' and 'Seriously, I really want to go to sleep!'
My body very rarely, if ever, says to me 'you know, you really could be using this time to do something constructive that you'll be proud of'.
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